Thursday, October 09, 2008

Central Bankers Meet, Agree on Bat Signal Use

In an unprecedented move, central bankers from nations around the world unveiled a plan Thursday morning to return the bat signal to service in an effort to arrest the deepening financial crisis. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson made the following statement:
The time has come for a coordinated response to this crisis. A piecemeal approach has not, and will not work - therefore my colleagues and I have decided to send in the big guns. The Dark Knight has proven himself capable numerous times against foes such as the Penguin, the Catwoman, and most recently against the Joker. I have full confidence in his ability to restore stability to our markets and the general economy.
Traders responded positively in the hours following the announcement, but doubts about the plan surfaced in late trading, erasing earlier gains. One investment banker from Goldman Sachs questioned the move.
Isn't that guy just from a movie? It's so hard to remember what's real and what's made up these days. I mean, that Beautiful Mind guy is real, right? But what about the Nicholas Cage character in The Rock? The point is, even if Batman responds, what can he do to ease the current crisis? Sometimes it seems like central bankers have no control and just make these kinds of statement to calm the markets.
The announcement came after coordinated cuts in interest rates around the world, which yesterday were announced within seconds of each other, failed to invigorate markets.
The bat signal is thought to be kept in storage in Brazil. Paulson admitted that it could take some time to find the spotlight and restore it to operation. "Those cornholes over at Warner Brothers better not have burned out the light," he added "those things are nearly impossible to find."

1 comment:

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